Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Sunshine and Littleone…

on March 16, 2012

Sunshine.  Littleone.  Sweet terms of endearment my parents once called each other.  20 years ago.

To love someone unconditionally, AGAPE LOVE, takes a lot of energy…especially a spouse.  The one we are called out to love; the one who completes us; the one who we take on as ours till death do us part.

They were parted, by death, the cancer that consumed the fire of life inside of him. Littleone.  It took him far sooner than anyone ever expected.  It took him.  We thought he would live forever.

She was there.  She bathed and held and hoped. Sunshine. She never left his side. She was consumed by her love for him…his love her.  Her life ended the day he left.  Her grief exhausted her and wore her out. She bore the weight of that day.

They met and married in a whirlwind.  The story of their courtship was sweet.  Poetry class at night school. Buxom redhead reading her words aloud to the class…immediate attraction.  He fell in love in an instant.  They fell in love that night.  She gave her heart completely…the best way she knew how.

March 16th they married.  The weather was unusually balmy and warm as they entered the church; snow fell as they left as husband and wife.  They began their life together in a blizzard.

The storm was fitting.  It would follow them.  They would battle through the tempest for years to come.  I would never understand.  And maybe they didn’t either. Perhaps that’s why she grieved so hard and heavy.

But, regardless of the swells of emotion and temper and frustration… was a love.  Passion. Dependency. Delight. Comfort. Home.

Love that feels like home.  A love that is as comfortable and familiar as your own skin.  A love that needs no words…just glances.  Touches. Thread.  A thread that weaves through two souls to create a life.

They didn’t live a perfect love story.  I venture to guess, like many marriages, they didn’t even live.  Some days going through the motions may have been their best.  But, they went through the motions in tandem.

I may never fully comprehend the measure of their love.  I may never appreciate the journey.    But, God does.  He knows all of it…their story.

I miss them.  A visceral ache.  The moments they left play over and over in my heart and mind.

So, as I sit here trying desperately not to feel the flood of emotion welling up inside.  Still raw.  The missing of two essential pieces of my puzzle, I am reminded that while theirs was not perfect, it was still love…and together they gave me life.  They brought me into this world and raised me to live in harmony with others.  To live out loud.  To stand up for what I believe in.  To appreciate the gift of a spouse to grow old with.  To stick it out through want and plenty.  Sickness and health.  Till death…

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