Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Take this bread and eat…

on March 30, 2012

“While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying “Take and eat; this is my body.”
Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, “Drink from it, all of you.  This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.  I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until the day when I drink it anew with you in my Father’s kingdom.”  Matthew 26:26-29

Unlike the church I grew up in, the church home I belong to now only serves communion on the first weekend of the month, as opposed to every week.  At first this bothered me.  I don’t know why, when I received communion for the first time at my church it had been years since I had received communion anywhere, so, to be annoyed was totally unfounded.  I guess I was just falling back on tradition.  But, over the course of the past four years, I have come to not only look forward to communion once a month, but appreciate its rarity.  I am always humbled on that first Sunday.

 I am a sinner. Each day I wake to prayers to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  We commune all day.  I speak to Him as I wash dishes, get little ones off to school, think of my husband at work, chat with friends, I thank God for His mighty provision…etc.  I spend my days talking to God.  Although I try in earnest to “pray continually”, I am not free of sin.  In the midst of prayer and thanksgiving, I sin.  I yell at the same sweet little ones who I tenderly pray for and see off to school.  I roll my eyes at the husband who willfully gets up each morning to earn a living for our family.  I bemoan the clothes I have instead of praising God for rainbow of textiles lining my closet.   I spend my days not on my knees, but with my hands on my hips; tapping my foot in very human contempt for the world around me.  I don’t even realize I do this day in and day out.  I don’t realize it until that first Sunday.  Sure, I ask forgiveness and repent daily.  I ask the Lord to fill me with the Fruit of the Spirit.  I ask that I am a suitable helpmate to my husband and that He would forgive my eye rolls and sighs…but I don’t think I realize the magnitude of what I am asking for until share the broken bread with my church family.

The symbol of the bread and wine at the beginning of each month humbles me to tears.  I become acutely aware of my very fallen sin-nature.  I am reminded of my callousness and my profound inability to honor Christ the way He desires.  Each day, while in prayer, I turn from the One who turned to my sin.  I am in desperate need of a savior.

So, while the bread and wine don’t necessarily wash my sins away, the Body they come from does.  Jesus took it all.  He took my past, present and future transgressions.  He called out to the Father, forgiveness for those who persecute Him…”they do not know what they have done”.  I count myself among those who secured the nails.  I am shameful in my sin.  There is hope.  There is always hope.  Each time I share the sacraments with fellow sinners, I am gently and lovingly reminded that He is perfect and sinless and that His grace and mercy alone are sufficient.  I will live under that umbrella of security.  I will repent for my human condition and embrace that His blood “…Which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins…” is washing me clean each day.

 

Father,

Forgive me for my sins.  Please wash me clean. I am humbled at Your feet.  I am awed by Your agape love for me.  You never forsake me or turn from me.  Please forgive me when I am not strong enough to bare the weight of what I have done.  Help me to turn to seek Your face, asking in the midst of my transgressions for your perfect peace and forgiveness.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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