Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Teach me to number my days….count every moment…

on August 27, 2012

“Man’s days are determined; You have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.” Job 14:5

I have spent many moments in my life fearing death.  I think it stems from the loss of my father at a young age and then the death of my mother unexpectedly when I was a new mom.  Regardless of the origin of my fear; I have spent far too many precious breaths worrying if I am taking my last.  If my husband has an ache or pain I think the worst…immediately.  I hold my breath when my kids try new and daring adventures.  I spend my prayer time petitioning the Lord to keep my family safe and well.  I forget that He created us with distinct purpose and that He will use us here on earth until His work in us is done.

We don’t know how long His work will take.

For my dad, the Lord used him on earth for 45 years.  He spent his time here working hard, loving well and sharing his experiences.  I recently stumbled upon one of his journals.  A running journal.  He wrote of his adventures on the trails.  He wrote of wildlife and full moons. Listening to the call of geese over crisp autumn nights.  He wrote of the beat of his feet on wooded trails and the calm he felt in his heart as he traversed stream and brook.  He saw life in everything.  It is no wonder that I am fueled by the majesty of God’s natural world.

My mom died unexpectedly on a Sunday night.  She had feared that she would leave this world without a loved one present to usher her into heaven.  Her fears, in the human sense, were realized.  She did die alone…in the physical sense…but she was carried to heaven by the Lord himself.  She was not alone.  Her time on earth was a brief 56 years.  She spent them loving and giving and showing fierce opinion.  She fulfilled her purpose on earth.  Her days were numbered…just like mine.

My fear is unfounded.  I think it’s a fear for the heartache those who are left behind feel.  When we say good-bye we must trust that we are going to the most perfect place…heaven.  There will be no tears, or sickness or sadness.  We must trust that if we believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior, our good-bye is more like ‘see you later’.  But the pain and twist of our heart is still palpable.  He will heal it…

I must trust.  I must trust that when we say good-bye to our loved ones or them to us…we are shrouded in the love of God.  His strength and mercy will carry us through even the deepest heartache.  He will reveal to us the mystery of life…if we are still enough to listen.  He will give us the ability to rise above death.  He gives us the strength to fear not, but rather reveal in the precious moments we have shared.

The notion that time heals all wounds is wrapped in human understanding.  We want to tag-line our emotions.  We give name and diagnosis to our hurt.  We seek others to fill us to happy again.  But we must turn from our own inability to understand the numbers of our days and trust that God has it all under control.  We must seek His face to heal our hurt.  He is the God of impossibilities.

You are mighty to heal.  You take our brokenness and renew us.  You know the pain we feel and you pour Your joy over us.  I pray that I receive all that you bless me with.  If my days are numbered, then let me live them to overflowing in Your light that I may be a beacon of hope to all who I encounter.  May I remember the joy and love of a family halted by death…may I rejoice in who brought me into this world and how well they loved me…let me leave behind the hurt and heartache.  In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.


4 responses to “Teach me to number my days….count every moment…

  1. Julie Orlando says:

    Hey there – this is a friend of mine from Bible study who blogs. I don’t know if some of this would help Lauren or scare her. Though you might like to read it. Reading the first overview of Daniel last night – I think they’ll be a lot to help Lauren in there. Mainly about teaching her God loves us – He has our best interests at heart (even more than our earthly parents or ourselves) & that we can Trust Him. I’m going to really be praying that we both see & read & hear things that can help her. What she’s feeling is not from God – I know He’ll show us & her. 🙂 I love the scripture from Job that this starts with. We’ll be studying Job this year too. 🙂

  2. Paddy says:

    I am burying my aunt today what a blessing to get up this morning and read this Thanks Samantha!

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