Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Be still my heart…

on September 11, 2012

“To whom will you compare me? Or who is my equal? Says the Holy One.  Lift your eyes and look to the heavens; Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.” Isaiah 40:25-26

I trust the Lord.  I look up into the night’s sky and cannot believe that maker of heaven and earth created a palate of beauty to gaze upon as I drift to sleep.  Each star he created to light the night sky.  He gave each starry host a purpose, to burn brilliantly.  He has given me purpose.

Recently I received some jarring news.  My heart may have a bit of an abnormality.  Further tests will reveal the true issue, but until then, I trust God.  From before I was created He knew the trials I would face. He knew that I would be drawn closer to His lap through struggle.  I know that He has created me with a very important purpose.  He has given us all purpose.

Since the time I was a little girl, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I wanted to be a wife and mother.  My own mother desired me to be a doctor.  I went through pre-med classes, then pre-nursing classes, and finally I found myself undegreed and working in the medical field.  I am now a wife and mom.  The Lord answered the desire of my heart.

When I heard the news that my heart was not working exactly right, the breath, all of it, was taken out of my lungs.  My heart cried “What about my children? My husband?”  What about my purpose?

I called a friend on the way home.  I cried.  She let me.  Tears flowed like a raging river. My heart squeezed tight as I thought of the ‘what ifs’ and ‘how could this be-s’.  I called out to the Lord in praise, for we are brought closer in our afflictions.  I cried to her of the fear of not being present for my children.  She stopped me…she reminded me that the Lord has called me to be a wife and mother.  That’s it…my purpose is to care for the family the Lord has so beautifully gifted me.

I trust God.

I do not fear.  I am in His hands.  He knows the desires of my imperfect heart.  He knows how much my family needs me.  He is with me always.  I will not worry.  I will put my hope in the Lord.

The God I serve is so much bigger than any heart issue, He is my HEART.  He gives me breath and life and LOVE.  I will pour into Him thanksgiving and praise.

Perhaps this ‘abnormality’ is simply a wakeup call to take better care of myself.  Maybe it’s to remember my purpose and to not take my family for granted.  Perhaps it is for me to meet people who do not already know the love of Christ.  I will be a messenger of His love and peace.  I will stand firm in His strength.  I will ask to be a beacon of HOPE to all who I encounter.  I will not be afraid; my strength comes from the Lord.

Dear Father,
You knew us before you created those beautiful starry hosts.  You knew the trials and triumphs we would face.  I seek to gaze upon Your face in the midst of uncertainty.  I will reach for Your hand and hold it tight as we go through this journey that will only draw me closer to You.  In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

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