Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Put the cookie down…

on October 28, 2012

Fasting is about a relationship.  It’s about commitment.  Commitment between the Lord and myself.  I don’t fast for my husband, my children or my best friend.  I fast because I feel the presence of the Lord upon me; guiding my every step.  Tomorrow I will begin a fast.  In our faith, the Lord warns against presenting your fast.  Do not show that you are tired or burdened. “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting.  I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.  But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen, and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, rewards you.” Matthew 6:16-18

Rather, I am proclaiming my fast for one reason and one reason only, ACCOUNTABILITY.

I love being in the complete presence of the Lord.  I love feeling His breath on my face.  I long to be in His midst.  I need him, and I am making it public.

Our pastor has been discussing some pretty serious and social topics.  Without going into detail, I was bowled over by his words as he preached in transparency today.  He spoke of sin.

My sin is lack of self-control; among others.  But, what drives sin nature is lack of self-control.  My sin is not greater or less than yours. In the eyes of the Lord it is all the same.

I have Jesus.  He does not require that I fast.  He desires a close, personal, loving relationship with Him.  He wants me to repent of my misgivings.  So in order that I may press deeper into the core of Jesus, I have to seek His forgiveness.

I have to lay at His feet that which draws me from Him.  I need to omit that which causes me to stray.  For me that is food.

I am not talking about life sustaining food. I am talking about the vanquishing  of food that gives me comfort and causes me to turn from Jesus.  I am powerless.

Here is a bit of a back story-I grew up a child of an alcoholic.  A woman sweet by day and horrible by night. She waited all day; traversing her life with anxiety and fear until evening, when she could quell the fury with a false friend; a drink.  I am not different.  I know that alcohol is not my enemy…food is.

I find my comfort in wheat and dairy.  Chocolate calls me from the darkness of my pantry.  I have fought this fight my entire life.

I wonder why right now? Why is my comfort eating taking toll on my self-control?  I am not in a time of worry or want.  My life is, by all rights, wonderful.  Thank you Jesus.

I think am trying to fill an unnamable void.

As I write this, I am acutely aware of the void I am filling.

See, over the past two months I have relied on the Lord fully to see me through a scary medical issue.  I have clung to Him.  As medical reports poured in confirming my good health, I relied less and less on the Lord…turning my attention to my greatest tempter…food.  As I draw further from the Lord, I am drawn deeper into my kitchen.  Tonight I woke up from my food coma and realized I need Him now more than ever.

I love that the Lord does this…He reminds us ever so subtly that we need Him in EVERY SITUATION!

So, I proclaim a fast.  I will also commit to writing of my journey, and I expect YOUR accountability.  I expect questions and reminders.  I am turning to the Lord. Pressing in as Daniel did when he met Nebuchadnezzar.  I am steadfast and committed to falling into the arms of the Lord.

Lord God,
You are ever present.  You ordain each breath.  Please be with me as I stand in Your self-control.  I pray that through this cleansing I grow deeper in Your goodness and faithfulness. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I will wear a face of humility and press into His goodness.

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7 responses to “Put the cookie down…

  1. If you went 40 days without food it would profit you nothing, Isaiah 58, that is the true fast. Not going without food. A lot of times we feel as if sacrificing will get us close to God. But actually, doing the acceptable fast will bring him right behind you, the Glory of the Lord shall by thy rearward. I look at posts and see where there is misunderstandings in the word and the Lord has proved me qualified to set it straight. I can’t write down all the rightly divided word of the fast on this reply, but study Is. 58 and that might be a good start.

    • I have studied Is. 58. And I thank you for your words. I am not subscribing to a ‘fast’ as those unfamiliar with the Word subscribe to fast. In my mind, I am most dedicated to the Lord when I pair down what holds me from him. This is not a 40 days, wrapped in martyrdom fast, it is a striping of what causes me to sin ‘fast’. We must be earnest in our seeking of forgiveness. I delight in prayer from fellow believers. Thank you, God bless.

  2. Kelly says:

    We are soooooo on the same page with this issue. If you gt a second tomorrow evening give me a call because I would love to chat with you and catch up.

  3. Terri Byars says:

    Please read my blog just written today. I, too, am committing myself to a fast of sorts. A fast from junk food. I struggled all my adult life with compulsive eating and also go to food for comfort. I have a blog “A new me by 53” at terridawn.wordpress.com. I joined a gym along with my husband and together, we want to lose weight. Maybe you and I can keep each other accountable.

    • I have read your blog. I pray the Spirit of Self Control for you and your husband. I praise God for spouses who are in this together. I am going to be posting daily…I’d love to help you with accountability! God Bless YOU!

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