Sunshinelittleone's Blog

All about my love for the Lord

Day one….

on October 29, 2012

Cupcake!!! (Photo credit: Ana_Fuji)

I am learning about myself that I am 1. a creature of habit and 2. unable to sit still for longer than five minutes.  I have also learned that I meander into the kitchen looking into my pantry or refrigerator several times a day.  But, only to look.  What am I looking for?  Am I checking expiration dates or moldy cheese?  Am I making sure the eggs aren’t cracked; that the milk isn’t shaken?  No, I am really searching for Jesus.

When I stand in the doorway of my pantry, I am not seeking out bags of chips or cookies, I am seeking a void to be filled.  The void is the God size hole in my heart. I am seeking a deeper relationship with my Lord.

Now, don’t get me wrong, by all accounts I live a very wonderful life.  I have a loving husband, two wonderful children, a warm home, and a sweet circle of friends who remind me of who I am in Christ.

I live out loud for the Lord.  I share the gospel openly.  I try,  in earnest, to be His hands and feet.  I am abundantly loved by the King of Kings.  And yet I still search.

But, that is what it’s all about: Life long searching and seeking the face of God.  I forget this, often.

I forget that I am a daughter of the King, bought by His precious blood.  I forget that He is ever-present; always available.  It is I who turns and strays and seeks filling in places other than Him…His Word. I forget that it is truly my life’s goal to be completely sold out for Him.  No wonder I feel a void.  I am not nearly close enough to Him, at least not the way my body and spirit and heart desires. Not yet.  It is good to seek Him.

Today began 21 days of committed change.  It was a day wrapped in the Lord’s self-control. It was a day that I spent pressing into Him.  He and I baked cupcakes, roasted pumpkin seeds and cleaned up dinner.  He and I spent the day together, not rehashing the why-s of my seeking, but falling in love.  He has been in my sight all day.  He has whispered, “You can do this, I am here.“, over and over again.

Each time I have fasted, I have found a stronger, deeper relationship with the Lord.

I am grateful for the grace and mercy only He can lavish.  He washes me in His love moment by moment.

Thank you Lord for meeting me and loving me right where I am.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.



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